How are you showing up for YOU?
This can’t be happening. I refuse to believe this is true. I felt broken like never before. I wanted to die too. Sitting in a pool of heart-wrenching tears and emotions I couldn’t believe I had to face the reality that my brother was gone. I will no longer see him, speak with him, hug him, nothing … I shut down. I didn’t want to see, talk, or hear from no one. It was such a hard burden to bear, I couldn’t even function. I went through the motions to look after my mom, my son, my family in general. No one really knew how devastated I truly was. I wasn’t eating, but made damn well my mom ate. I wasn’t sleeping at all but made sure my mom was getting her rest. All the while, I gave to everyone else and lost myself in the grieving process. I didn’t allow anyone to tap into my raw, vulnerable self.
But you see deep down, I knew I couldn’t continue this path of self destruction. I had a family to care for, a son to raise, a life to continue living. I needed to remember that “I’m still here, I didn’t die”. Within those weeks of turmoil, I finally made the decision that I needed to commit to myself in getting back in this thing called ‘life”. No one else was going to rescue me but me. I started asking myself, “What do I really need to start healing? Who do I need to ask for help? How can I start getting back to myself?” The answer was simple; love yourself enough to want to heal. I started with acts of self love; praying, meditating, eating, sleeping, showering and crying whenever and with whoever I needed to break down with. I allowed myself to feel my feelings and start the journey of healing. This was self care like no other because it wasn’t about massages, yoga classes or none of that. It was the commitment to want to feel better, it was recognizing how I needed to show up in my life and focusing on me first before nurturing others. That was the mistake I made, I internalized my emotions, shut down and acted on everyone else’s needs first and left myself behind. I lost myself in the process and it nearly destroyed my family, my spirit, my life. I had to learn the necessary steps to incorporate into my daily life and how to implement them without sacrificing myself or my family ever again.
Coming to this decision to be #CommittedToSelf wasn’t easy. I needed to breakdown before I could breakthrough and see what’s totally important in my life and that is “I Matter”. Although being a Self Care Strategist, I still needed a different perspective on how all this truly needed to be embraced. My brother’s passing was an ultimate lesson that self care, self love should not overlooked or ignored but rather it should be structured into our daily lives. It’s essential in order for us to fully live a well balanced lifestyle.
So I am here now creating a massive REVOLUTION on self care and being 100 percent #CommittedToSelf because we can no longer go on living our lives on fast forward, never stopping, ignoring our well being needs and waiting to be saved by other means. It’s time to start taking action and making ourselves our #1 priority because the savior is within each and everyone of us.
If you’re interested in starting your own journey on being #CommittedToSelf, I invite you to join me and sign up for a session: bit.ly/committedtoselfsession – You are not alone and together we start healing and living on purpose!
All my love,